May I say "I am jealous"?

Date: September 13rd, 2011 
Time: 11:02 pm
Weather: windy
Now Playing: Dewi Sandra featuring Pasto - Buktikan



It’s almost a year. Yeah a year. Since the first time I met you, I know you and those things happened. Those meals that I made for you, those candles you blow, those helps you give, those thanks you take, those kindness you do, those good impression about you, for you and only you.

 I never realize that I like you. It just happened. I don’t even know how this could happen. Those beats on my chest, those butterflies on my stomach, those dopamine on my brain. It was a pleasure. The way you stare at me, the way you smile at me, the way you laugh, the way you talk, the way you do to me. It was addictive. I want it more and more.

I like you for no reason. If everyone in this world ask me why I like you, I could only answer “I don’t know.” Am I in love with you? Well I can’t say it. I like you, yeah of course. But this liking turns into a wanting. I want you, over and over again. It’s like an addiction for me. I have to fulfill this lust. I have to, but I can’t.

For everything that happened between us, it’s just like usual thing for me. The way you make friends, the way you act, the way you behave, and everything. They are not problems for me. I’m okay, I’m fine with that. But I don’t know why it turns to unusual thing. I’m starting to dislike those. You may say I’m selfish but I even don’t know why I can be like this. Then suddenly I realized, it’s almost a year.

“Based on psychological study, a crush only last for 4 months. If it exceeds, you are already in love.”

dedicated to you, dear.